Weekly Link Roundup: The Food Porn Version

I’m up in the middle of the night with a serious head cold.  A friend suggested it might be haggisitis – which turns your internal organs to pulp and mixes them with oatmeal – but I’m pretty sure it’s more of a deepfriedmarsbar syndrome, where your sinuses and lungs get encased in a thick, viscous batter.  Either way, it’s really not a pretty picture.

Because I’ve self-medicated with an assortment of pharmaceuticals and can’t really read anything, I opened my Google Reader for the first time in about 6 months to look at all the pretty pictures.  Oooh, pretty pictures.  I will share some of them with you now.

First off, a great photo from a great article called Northeast China Branches Out In Flushing in the New York Times.

Wait a minute. Those are sticky-sweet caramel sugar strands stretching off chunks of deep-fried sweet potato? And that’s Chinese food? Holy crap. My world is rocking right now and it’s not just me overdosing on cold meds.  Perhaps my deep-frying obsession is coded deep within my DNA.  Irene Bean sent this article to me at about the exact moment the drool hit the keyboard upon reading it myself.  Go read about the cuisine of the Dongbei (literally ‘East North’) region and look at the slideshow: I promise you’ll do some serious drooling yourself.

Next, up: Boston Creme Pies from Design*Sponge

Ooooooooooooohmyyyygod.  Despite being proudly Boston born and bred, I’ve never really liked Boston creme pies.  But seeing this photo made me want to scoop up that cheeky little cake and smooosh it into my mouth in one bite.  Look at how mini it is!  It would totally fit.  Design*sponge is one of my favorite design blogs and their foodie/recipe series  ‘in the kitchen with’ has some of the most gorgeous food styling I’ve ever seen, along with some great recipes.  My camera whimpers a little in shame every time I look at the photos.  But my heart sings a bit with joy at the beauty of it all, so I do my best to temper the rising bile of inadequacy. I mean, really…how has a messy, half-eaten plate of radishes ever looked so good?

This spectacularly beautiful radish explosion is better described as a Spicy Heirloom Radish Salad and the recipe can be found  ‘In The Kitchen With’ Penny De Los Santos.

My last photo (because I reeeeeallly needed to go to bed like 3 hours ago, but I am not up of my own volition. Damn the batter in my head!) is from Slice: America’s Favorite Pizza Weblog, which is part of the jolly, fat, and friendly Serious Eats family.  If I manage to stay up to date with my Reader, it will probably be due to the daily dose of deliciousness  from Serious Eats.

Scrolling through the several hundred posts I missed over the past few months, my eyes starting to glaze over, my brain beginning to succumb to the dripping ooze of fry batter, I was shocked out of my stupor by the following photo:

Hey! I know that pizza! I know that pizza damn well, and glancing at this photo again has me tempted to book a flight to New Haven, Connecticut as we speak. Rather, as I type. And I’ll be honest with you, I’m not a huge fan of Connecticut. But seriously, Sally’s Apizza is some of the best pizza you’ll ever have.  It’s absolutely orgasmically good.  It’s also the home to one of my favorite food stories…

Assuming you have a generally adequate level of vision and sense of  spatial reasoning, I think you get an idea from the above photo how large the ‘Large’ pizza at Sally’s is.  16 slices!  It’s about the size of a small stovetop,  a mid-size bath mat, two normal ‘Large’ pizzas, or perhaps a very big catskin rug if your cat were one of those hilariously overweight cats whose pictures make me laugh on a regular basis.  Regardless, the Larges should more aptly be called Enormously Huges, and then the Large pizzas from every other pizza institution would not suffer the intense shame of comparison.

I went to Sally’s with four girlfriends – Rachel, Lex, Olivia, and Helen, all champion eaters and all wanting a different kind of pizza. I wanted to try the classic White Clam, Rachel swore by the Eggplant Parmesan, Lex refused to leave without the Mixed Hot Peppers No Mozz, and Helen preferred the Pepperoni and Onion. So of course, after waiting in line for almost two hours, we decided to get all four. In Large. For five girls. We had so much pizza, they had to bring over another table to put it on.  The guys at the table next to us started heckling – like straight-up shit talking – but we shut them up when we took down approximately 3.15 of them and had just enough to divide for leftovers the way we intended. It was one of the most satisfying eating experiences of my life – mostly because the pizza is unquestionably amazing and we waited two hours for it, but also seeing the grudging looks of respect in the eyes of those dudes.

Or maybe it was horror. I might have been too high on tomato sauce to know the difference.

Oh, and then Lex ordered another one to take home.  Seriously people, it’s that good.

Also…you’d think if I could ingest almost 16 slices of pizza, I’d be able to ingest enough Tylenol PM aka Lemsip Max All Night Cold & Flu Tablets to knock myself out  for the night, wouldn’t you?

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10 thoughts on “Weekly Link Roundup: The Food Porn Version

  1. irene says:

    Hahaha!

    A word to the wise – those sticky Dongbei sugar-drenched potatoes need to be eaten quickly, or else they pretty much fossilize. It’s a delicate balance between burning your mouth on molten sugar and cracking a molar or two on rock-candy covered potato wedges. But, I’m sure Mei, with her mouth of steel, could handle it either way.

  2. Rachel says:

    YESSSSSS. i am so glad to have that epic consumption chronicled by the best of chroniclers. also, no way that pie would fit in your mouth. prove me wrong, i dare you.

  3. LexEat! says:

    Loved your story of the girls vs. the pizza & the hecklers! Yay girls!

  4. admin says:

    @irene – you’ve eaten those? without me!?! for shame.

    @rach – i take on your challenge. of course, i’d have to make them first….is this some sort of trick to have me make boston creme pies for you? if so, it worked. next time i see you, it is boston creme pie in your mouth time.

    @lex – it was a true pizza moment of glory! we waddled home glowing with victory:)

  5. Alexis says:

    Mixed Pepper! No mozz. The only way to fly. Sniff. Maybe I should drive to New Haven. RIGHT NOW. Or, at least, a rendezvous? I think yes. Liv? Rachel? Helen? Hecklers?

  6. irene says:

    @mei – If only you’d come to China with me. I ate those badboys on-site in Dongbei province.

    • admin says:

      @irene – uhhhhh okay, done. we can coat ourselves in caramelized sugar and eat ‘squirrelfish.’

      on second thought, ow.

  7. olivia says:

    want sally’s SO BAD. sooooo bad. ooh man, the plain pie with garlic?? SALLY’S! you’ve done it a-gaaaiiin!

  8. olivia says:

    p.s. i read that article about sally’s and i TOTALLY DISAGREE with its assessment of the clam pie. they say it doesn’t belong in the pizza pantheon. i say that’s some crazytalk. pretty sure mei will back me up here.

  9. Deviled Egg says:

    I can’t get enough of food porn! I try to make my own food porn at home but my pictures never turn out as appetizing looking as the pics I find online. I feel so hungry now. 😀

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