Tag Archives: consensual bread product activities

it’s literally food porn: a breadman competition, a bedroom scene and a fiery breadperson sacrifice

you know you’ve just spent one of the most bizarrely amusing and creatively satisfying evenings of your life when the following quotes come out of the kitchen:

1. ‘that looks like f*cking George Washington.”

2. “you better be scared, b*tch!”

3. “there’s a fine line between pleasure, pain, and fiery human sacrifice.”

yes, it’s been quite an entertaining evening. one of my bestest friends kellin is visiting from florence, which means nonstop entertainment of all kinds. however, i think we may have topped our own personal most-ridiculous-night-ever by entering ourselves in the breadman competition. assuming you’ve never heard of the breadman competition, i will explain it to you.

breadman holding breadman

traipsing around soho today post-dumpling fest, we stopped by a bread and pastry cart to drool over the chocolate bears and the tomato focaccia and ended up trading italian slang with the funny british guy running the stall. upon further discussion, he invited us to compete in the breadman competition. regard live breadman holding not-live breadman to the right.

the breadman competition involves: 1) getting a breadman (not the live one). 2) taking a picture of said breadman. 3) posting the photo on the facebook page. for this, you get cake! which would really be enough reason for us, but the whole idea  just fired up our creative juices and stoked our competitive fires. you ain’t NEVER gonna see a breadman photo  like our breadman photo.

to explain ourselves just a bit, i’m pretty sure that kell and i were visually influenced by the predominant type of store in the soho neighborhood. in case you’ve never been there, one particularly representative establishment is the aptly titled, no-imagination-necessary ‘trashy lingerie.’ with that information in mind, you may not be surprised that we decided to do a ‘bedroom scene.’ yes, it’s quite literally food porn.

don’t worry, it’s not graphic (all naughty bits have been covered up), but it may not be suitable for those underage. so if you’re not yet legal in the state of alabama, or if you’re my mother or any other family member of an older generation, or if  you don’t approve of consensual bedroom activities as practiced by two willing and eager bread products, you probably shouldn’t click below. on the other hand, if you’re interested in breadperson bondage….

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